Heaven Cracks and Chips of Sky Fall
by SkyChasingDreamer
Summary: Gintoki/Hijikata pairing - Gintoki was still standing, but he was frozen, eyes wide and unblinking. Hijikata's fingers twitched, ice chips broke out all over his skin, a sweat so cold and sudden the hairs on the back of his neck rose.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Heaven Cracks and Chips of Sky Fall

**Pairing**: GinHijiGin

**Rating**: T to eventual NC17

**Dedicated To**: HUSBAND FOR BIRTHDAY~ CONGRATS ON YOUR BIRTH

**Disclaimer**: no

**A/N**: Please enjoy this thing I wrote. I... have been wanting to write something like this for a terribly, _terribly _long time.

* * *

**Prologue**

Hijikata was sitting in the back of the patrol car, smoking a chain of cigarettes, one after another after another after another. His fingertips were stained, his ashtray was overflowing, smoke billowed around, trapped like smog. His head was still pounding, but that was the least of his problems, the very, very, very least.

His phone was beside him, black and silent when he wanted it to be lit up and blaring with life. He shifted in his seat, one leg propped over the other, and his brow was ticking away, would probably tick right off his face at some point. Fucking ridiculous – how long had he been left waiting? What was keeping everyone? He'd had a headache since he'd woken and it hadn't gone away yet, he didn't see it going away anytime soon, either.

Glancing out the window, he scowled around his cigarette, the bright, warm day not reflecting the turmoil raging inside him as it should. There should be a goddamn hurricane tearing through houses and uprooting everything in its path! Not really, though, because that would be putting the people he worked so hard to protect in danger and he couldn't have that.

He finished that cigarette and started on another, the ashtray right in front of him sitting on the partition between the seats. He was sitting in the middle of the backseat because... of a reason. It was a good reason, too. Well, actually, it was two reasons. Two very big and unexpected reasons he found to be both fascinating and horrifying. He was sure the universe was crapping on him, taking one huge dump without bothering to wipe up afterward.

The windows of the car were tinted and that, at least, was something to be grateful for. By no means did he enjoy being trapped in there, unable to leave the car, unable to do anything except sit and smoke and twitch. He thought stuff over, dissected everything he'd done that could piss the universe off enough to backlash like this and while he could think of _plenty _of shitty shit he'd done, nothing could have warranted this kind of... punishment or blessing.

He honestly didn't know which it was! In terms of his job and general life – or lack thereof when he wasn't working – it was definitely a punishment. It hindered him, slowed him down, he couldn't even go outside! What was he supposed to do, stay in with Paperwork-san all day everyday? Like hell! Toushiro Hijikata stay out of the action? Demon Vice-Commander sidelined? There was no way!

On the other hand, he couldn't imagine it being a blessing. He wasn't the type that deserved... even just the word _blessing_ in terms of himself left a nasty, bitter taste at the back of his throat. It – he couldn't explain it, the it he'd been referring to the whole time, the it that was an anomaly, the it that had so thoroughly pissed him the fuck off.

_It _being: the two big black wings jutting out of his back.

Yeah.

Let that sink in.

Wings. He had wings. Fucking _wings, _people!

Hijikata looked over his shoulder and glared at the right one, the feathers black as pitch and he was sure they were mocking him somehow. He didn't know how it'd happened. In the middle of his morning patrol there had been a flash of pain out of fucking nowhere before everything had gone dark. He'd woken in his room a couple hours later with a crippling headache and, of course, his new attachments that had burst right through his clothes to leave twin gaping holes behind. He was the only one that had them, too, everyone else was wing free, the lucky bastards.

It'd been suggested to him to stay inside during the start of the investigation and that hadn't gone over well at all. Case and point, Hijikata was in the squad car a block away from where he'd been struck down. He understood why Kondo-san had brought up the point of him staying behind, but Hijikata wasn't at all good at sitting around waiting. He needed to do things, move, take action! However, being trapped in the car so no one would see him sort of proved that he really should have stayed behind, at least there he would have Paperwork-san to comfort him. In the car all he had was his cigarettes, of which he only had three remaining, and limited space to batter his frustrations around in.

For the record, it felt really goddamn weird to have wings extending out of his back. Standing up for the first time had been hellish! He'd looked and felt like a toddler! His equilibrium had been nonexistent and he'd fallen more than once, even got nauseous a few times – though he attributed that to his pounding headache. It hadn't helped that Sougo had been there teasing him the whole time and recording videos on his phone for later blackmail.

After Hijikata had gotten used to standing and walking – he was convinced he couldn't run yet – actually controlling the wings became his focus. Right from the get go, they'd been a pain. They flopped and jerked and didn't do a thing he told them, they'd been and still were inexorably useless. Getting into the car had been a task because he'd tried to lower them and fold them closer to his body, but they'd instead taken on a mind of their own, one snapping outward and the other raising as high as it could go at the crest. It'd taken the manpower of Kondo-san, Sougo, and Zaki combined to wrangle them and get Hijikata into the vehicle. That alone had been fucking mortifying if the rest of it wasn't enough.

Zaki had driven him and Kondo-san to this point, not too far and not too close to where it'd happened. They were out looking at the exact spot, getting in-tell, finding out what people had seen, doing the first screening of the investigation. Hijikata would be out there too, but no one could see him like this, winged and wobbling like a newborn giraffe when he walked, all knobby knees and imbalance. His reputation would be completely obliterated if word got out about it, people would laugh instead of fear and that would be unacceptable to the highest. And another thing, Hijikata couldn't slip into and disappear within a crowd the way he usually did, there was no way wings like his would go unnoticed ever, they quite literally were a target on his back.

It sucked... this whole thing _sucked_, he hated it! Angrily stubbing out his second to last cigarette, he brought his final one to his lips and took it in, but didn't light it yet. His voice was going to be so raw and dry the next day from smoking so much, but fuck it, he had a perfectly good reason to do so. His wings were smashed between himself and the seat, keeping them efficiently pinned so they couldn't do anything weird while he was stewing in his malcontent.

A flash of something bright had him looking out the left window and immediately, his mood soured further. The Yorozuya were walking down the road and looked to be bickering about some thing or another. Four Eyes and China were mad and yelling, at times pushing at Gintoki to, what looked like, trying to get him to turn around. The bastard was having none of it though and shooed them away each time they tried, his frown making him look annoyed while his dead fish eyes just made him look stupid like always.

The worst thing was that Hijikata found himself to be somewhat envious of them, they could walk around! Come and go as they pleased and not be trapped in some stupid place like a goddamn squad car. Gnashing his teeth on the cigarette, Hijikata punched the passenger seat and cursed, he was pathetic! Being envious of someone like the natural perm freak, what the hell was that about?

It was as Hijikata was glaring a hole into Gintoki's head that it happened. Out of nowhere, a lightning bolt struck Gintoki and the whole world flashed white, so blinding Hijikata had to shield his eyes. It lasted but a second and once it was over, he was staring out the window again, hand on the handle. Gintoki was still standing, but he was frozen, eyes wide and unblinking. Hijikata's fingers twitched, ice chips broke out all over his skin, a sweat so cold and sudden the hairs on the back of his neck rose.

Gintoki's body jerked and with a thunder blast so loud it rocked the car, two gigantic white wings burst from Gintoki's back. He took one step, visibly fighting to stay on his feet, but with a tremendous shudder, he fell flat on his face, ass in the air.

**To Be Continued**


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh husband, my husband, how do I love thee~**

**Chapter One**

Hijikata was going to hit him, throttle Gintoki right in the face and wake the bastard up. It'd been almost two hours and he'd lost patience after the first ten minutes, Gintoki needed to wake the fuck up already. After the whole huge thunderous scene of wings exploding out of Gintoki's back, appropriate measures had been taken.

The sound had been loud enough to attract plenty of attention, had it gone unnoticed, Hijikata would have gotten out of the car. However, a crowd had formed and he hadn't wanted his own wings to be uncovered, so he'd stayed put, much to his displeasure. Kondo-san and Zaki were on scene in moments and once they'd taken over and staked off the area, order had been claimed. Gintoki had been brought to the car since it was the closest safe place nearby – China could really pull her weight when she needed to – and that had resulted in the most awkward and uncomfortable drive of Hijikata's life.

Two grown men with wings did absolutely _not_ fit in the back of a vehicle! It was terrible! They'd been mashed up in positions Hijikata hadn't even known existed until he had a mouthful of feathers and a heavy body literally shoved into his lap after they'd all played Tetris to get the big oaf to fit. Hijikata's own wings had been smashed into the seat, but was that all? Of course not. How could they leave without Gintoki's brats? The two piled in, jamming themselves impossibly into the cab because god forbid they let Gintoki go for one goddamn second!

Zaki had driven again with Kondo-san in the back seat and Hijikata got to have China glaring at him the whole way. Four Eyes at least _tried _to be polite, but that gratuity was frigid at best, not that Hijikata cared. He was snapping at all of them – except Kondo-san – and it was best to just leave the rest of that ride out of it because that had been hell.

Fast forwarding to the moment, Gintoki was in Hijikata's room, a decision that he'd had _no _part in making, and the freak was still out cold, even after the retelling of getting him into the car. His wings were flopped unnaturally to either side of him, his shirt a tattered mess where the additaments had burst through. The yukata was still on, the wing on that side having pushed it aside rather than go right through it. Hijikata was still lamenting the loss of his jacket, so naturally it wasn't fair Gintoki's yukata had gone unharmed, he was almost tempted to rip it himself and say the wing had done it.

Transporting Gintoki from the car to his room had been, as one would guess, a disaster. Though, he'd gotten some fiendish delight whenever Gintoki's body was bumped into things, the brute was too big for his own good. Must have been all the sweets and junk he ate that made him so hulk-ish. Zaki had helped Hijikata to his room, something neither of them had been happy about by the end of it because Zaki had a few more bruises than before and Hijikata dignity had been severely hacked into. But that was it, the last leg. Gintoki had been put on the futon and Hijikata was currently on his knees at the head of the bed, _still _waiting for the bastard to rouse.

"This is bullshit," Hijikata muttered, lifting a hand to poke at Gintoki's cheek.

Just one poke, then he recoiled quick, just in case. There was no reaction, so he changed another poke, a light _squish_ to the soft flesh. Two times was Hijikata's limit, the third time, instead of poking, he slapped the side of Gintoki's face hard enough for his palm to tingle afterward. With a heaving groan, Gintoki took in a loud breath and his body twitched, an arm reaching out and grabbing at absolutely nothing before falling back to the bed.

"Hnn... wha'? Wha's zup?"

"Good, you're awake," Hijikata said primly, clearing his throat behind the hand that committed the slapping crime. "How do you feel?"

Gintoki groaned again. "Like I just took a massive shit outta my back. The fuck did you do? Wait, who the hell are you?" He raised his head, blinking and squinting his eyes so his face was all puckered up. "Oh. It's you. Shoulda known, rotten luck."

Gintoki's face fell into the pillow with a _thump_ and Hijikata was already fed up. "Quit whining and answer the fucking question!"

"Wha's the question?"

Hijikata had to take a breath before he could get out, "How. Do. You. Feel?"

"Wouldn't notice if a train hit me!" Gintoki quipped and moaned like his head was splitting open, Hijikata knew the feeling well. "Fuck, wha' d'ya do to me? You did somethin', I know it."

"Shut up for a second, idiot, and look at me."

"Don't wanna, slowly dying. An' you're ugly."

"Oi, drama queen! I said look _up_!" Hijikata grabbed Gintoki's hair and yanked. "Notice anything?"

"Ack – ah! Shit! Your brow, it's doing that wriggly thing, s'creepy! You always hit me when it does that!"

Hijikata leaned forward, canting his shoulder so his wing on that side could be seen better. "I swear to fuck, if you don't notice a certain," he jerked Gintoki's head up higher, "_something_, it's seppuku for you!"

Gintoki had gone still, his eyes wide, breath seeming frozen inside his throat. "You've got... are those... am I dead? Wait... are _you_ dead? Why do you have wings? Shouldn't they be horns?"

"Fu – no! Look at your own fucking back!"

"You're holding onto my hair!" Instead of letting go, Hijikata twisted Gintoki's head until he was able to look back and any other time, the screech that sounded through the room might have been amusing. "I'm dead! I've got wings too, that's it, it's over, goodbye cruel world! _Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there, I do not sle _–"

"No singing!" Hijikata shouted, shoving Gintoki's face back down into the pillow before he let go. "And you're not dead, I mean, _we_ aren't, we just, ah, we've got," a lame shrug, "wings."

Gintoki peeked up at him. "Not dead?"

"_No!_"

"How – ouch-ch-ch, my goddamn head is splitting! How d'you know?"

"I've talked to Sougo and Kondo-san."

"Do they –"

"No."

"You dunno what I was gonna say."

Hijikata sighed and said through gritted teeth. "What were you gonna say?"

"Doesn't matter, you answered it already."

Gargling, Hijikata smacked Gintoki's head and leaned back until he fell on his ass. This was why he hated Gintoki, the guy was insufferable! And also accepted having wings a hell of a lot quicker than Hijikata himself had. Eying the bastard, he narrowed his gaze and glared, but it did little good since he was being ignored. Gintoki was in his own world and with a large amount of hesitation, Gintoki reached up and touched his head. His fingers sifted through his hair and the oddest expression crossed his face.

Hijikata's brows raised, sure that he didn't want to know what that was all about, so he wasn't going to ask, he didn't want to know. Hijikata stayed silent, letting Gintoki have a moment to acclimate to this bazaar situation and that initial headache really was a bitch, though he couldn't picture Gintoki taking anything for it. Once Gintoki was satisfied, he shoved his face back into the blanket he was laying on and Hijikata had to do something then because he couldn't have the idiot falling asleep.

"Think you can get up?"

Gintoki lifted his head, eyes crossed and brows pinched, he looked like a wild animal that had just gotten woken up prematurely from hibernation. Tossing his bangs out of his face with a breath, Gintoki moved, shifting first to his knees, then pushing off with his arms to stand. Hijikata had his arms raised, ready to catch the bastard because there was no such thing as balance with wings. But Gintoki stood, just popped right up like it'd been no big deal. His wings were still flopped and limp, they hadn't so much as twitched the whole time.

"You're standing," Hijikata said, arms still raised.

Gintoki raised a brow. "And you're sitting, there, we're both unobservant now."

"Why are your wings like that? Can't you move them?"

Surely the wings weren't activated yet or something, that was why Gintoki was able to move so easily. That _had _to be it, yeah, that was the only explanation. Hijikata's wings had never been slack and unresponsive like that, they'd been moving from the beginning, Gintoki's just hadn't started throwing off his equilibrium yet.

Grumbling, Gintoki looked over his shoulder and said, "Move." Nothing happened and he raised his arms up. "Arise!" Nada. "I command you to flap!" Zilch. Huffing, Gintoki walked in a circle, his lax wings dragging behind him. "What gives? And where is everyone?"

"Your kids were here for awhile, but then China got hungry so they left for food. Keep trying to –"

Gintoki clutched his heart. "Abandoned for hungry bellies!"

"They're coming back, said something about bringing you a parfait or –"

"Parfait?" Gintoki squawked, both his wings popping up with a snap. "Did you say parfait? Please tell me you're not lying!"

Hijikata blinked. "Wings..."

Gintoki looked back and the fully operational movement behind him. "Oh, so that's how they work. Cool." He whipped back around to face Hijikata, prancing in place. "Tell me more about this parfait! Are you sure that's what they said?"

"Would you shut up about that stupid parfait," Hijikata snarled and Gintoki gasped, looking scandalized. "Why are you not falling over?" Hijikata thundered, grabbing onto his hair and pulling. "I don't get this! I can barely stand and you can fucking skip around the room like some goddamn ballerina!"

"You... can barely stand?"

"Why the fuck do you think I've been sitting the whole time?" Hijikata raged, letting go of his hair before he tugged a patch out. The last thing he needed was a stupid bald spot, that would only add to his humility. "How the hell are you _doing _that?"

"I don't know? It's not that hard!" Gintoki said, strutting around to make his point, even doing stupid little twirls that had his wings fanning out.

"Yes it is! Move your left wing up." Frowning, Gintoki stopped and did so, his wing smoothly rising up. "No! That's bullshit! Put it down and shake your right one." Making a loud discontented noise, Gintoki followed the instruction, the feathers rustling when he shook them. "The actual _fuck? _How're you able to do that? Tell me your secrets!"

"There's no secrets! You just move them, I guess, I don't know!" Gintoki walked in a circle, moving his wings up and down and side to side without a problem. He wasn't falling over, wasn't having any balance issues, one would think he'd been born with the stupid things. "It's like having a second set of arms, except out of your back. This is kinda nifty."

Hijikata was livid. Roaring, he scrambled to his feet, then cursed when the first thing he did was flop to the side. He cussed and spat and kicked trying to right himself, but all he managed to do was smack his wings on the floor and flail uselessly. Worse, Gintoki had halted and was staring at him, mouth wobbling.

"Don't you dare laugh, fucker!"

And, of course, Gintoki belted out the loudest most depraved laugh in all the universe. Hijikata's face heated up in anger and embarrassed as he slowly tried to get to his feet with limited success. Meanwhile, Gintoki was dying, doubled over with his fully goddamn functional wings obediently staying half-mast and out of the way.

"Good god, mayora, what's wrong with them?"

"Hell if I know," Hijikata spat contemptuously. "They don't work."

Gintoki stood on his tiptoes to see the wings better over top Hijikata. "They don't look broken."

"You are literally the biggest idiot."

"Well, this idiot's wings work just fine, so what does that say about you?" Gintoki took a couple steps closer and reached out a hand. "Lemme see'em."

Hijikata jerked away, trying to stand, but he only toppled over. "No, stop that. Go away. I said stop, not come closer! Stop following me!" Hijikata kept scooting along the floor doing inventive crab walks until a hand accidentally landed on his wing and he fell to his back. "Ah – fuck!"

"Will you hold still now?" Gintoki asked, eyes dancing with mirth.

"No, bastard, I said go away!" Hijikata yelled, lifting a leg, prepared to kick Gintoki where it hurt.

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours," Gintoki replied, wriggling a brow.

"What of _no _don't you understand?" Hijikata kicked out, aiming right between Gintoki's legs, but his foot got caught midair. A look of sheer disgruntled horror passed over his face as Gintoki pulled, starting to drag him toward the center of the room where there was more space. "No, no, no, no! Leggo! Seppuku for you, natural perm!"

"Gin-chan!"

"Gin-san!"

"Saviors!" Gintoki cried, immediately dropping Hijikata's leg and spinning toward the door.

He opened his arms to his kids as they ran in, his wings similarly opening in a coordination that made the Vice-Commander seethe.

China dove right into him and hugged him so hard she picked him up off the ground. "You shouldn't worry mother like that!"

"Oi! We've been through worse! Now, tell Gin-san you brought him a parfait!"

Four Eyes smiled and lifted up the sack in his hands and right about when Gintoki screeched was when Hijikata tuned out. He let out a breath and his head fell to the floor, he hated that natural perm freak. Couldn't stand the damn bastard for reasons just like that, being dragged across his own room by his leg, how debasing. At least he could be glad Sougo wasn't there, otherwise Hijikata was sure there would be more footage that could be used against him later on. The trio talked loudly and Hijikata's headache throbbed back because he knew this all was just the start of his woes.

Sure enough, when he began paying attention again to what was being said around him, the first thing he heard was Kondo-san – when the hell had he joined them? – saying, "Looking forward to having you around for awhile, Sakata-san!"

Hijikata's felt ill as his stomach plummeted and he lifted his head with a furious, "_WHAT?"_

**To Be Continued**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 2**

"He can't stay here!" Hijikata snapped, pointing a finger at Gintoki. He was so enraged he was shaking and his wings were doing every manner of twitchy things to match. He stared at Kondo, silently pleading for him to say that this was some kind of joke. "Why would he _stay?_ Who would want that, hah?"

"If you don't want me here so much, why not get up and throw me out?" Gintoki said, idly eating his parfait.

Hijikata blushed furiously and slammed a fist into the floor, which helped drown out Sougo's stupid little cackle.

"Kondo-san!" Hijikata made his look all the more imploring and motioned with his hands in a way he hoped made sense.

Kondo scratched his head, looking truly contrite. "I'm sorry, Toshi! There's no way around it. We need him here to keep an eye on you both, who knows what these wings could mean! He has to stay close by in case anything happens and that will give us time to figure out what we can about it."

"He can't stay! He –" They didn't have any spare rooms, not anymore. Their last few had been taken by some new recruits and one of them was being used for storage, packed so tight and jammed full of so much stuff, there was no way that one would be cleaned out anytime soon. As soon as that hit, Hijikata exploded, "You can't mean here, _here!_ Not in my room!"

"You know how limited we are on space, there's nowhere else for him to stay."

"Why not with Sougo? They get along better!"

Sougo was holding China's wrist to stop a punch as he said, "You're room is bigger."

"Not the point!" His attention turned to Gintoki. "Say something! Don't just stand there like a buffoon, you can't want to stay anymore than I want you to!"

"Not now, mayora, I'm eating. Never interrupt a man when he has a parfait!"

Hijikata's shoulders scrunched up and one of his wings smacked him on the back of his head. "Tsk! You can't be serious! This can't be real!"

"It's only temporary," Kondo said as Gintoki was tugged over and away by Four Eyes. "Just until we find out more about this. You should take the opportunity to catch your breath, too. You've been working yourself too hard."

"But Kondo-san –"

"You'll be fine! It'll be over before you know it!"

Left with no room to argue, Hijikata turned his gaze over to where Gintoki was standing, still stuffing his stupid face with that parfait. China was touching his wings, smooshing her face against the base of the left one while Four Eyes touched the right one, pulling it out to open it a little. Sougo had absconded Kondo to talk and that just left Hijikata to sit with his unsteady wings that didn't listen to a goddamn thing he tried to get them to do.

This... was going to be bad, he could already tell.

-o-O-o-

It was worse than bad, actually, as Hijikata's nose filled with a rancid smell that quickly took over the whole room. He was furious and full to bursting with every kind of loathing imaginable and had all happened thanks to an apple.

But have some recap for the week before he got into that: The first night had been the absolute worst night so far. He and Gintoki had both gotten little to no sleep because the second they were left alone, they were too busy bickering. They fought about everything and Hijikata wondered what he'd done to the universe to piss it off so thoroughly. Their futons were side by side, but not touching, and finding a comfortable spot was really fucking difficult with wings. Hijikata had to lay on his back to keep his down so they wouldn't twitch so much and Gintoki – fucking _Gintoki_ – just _had _to lay on his stomach and try to stretch his wings out. Every single time the wing on Hijikata's side came within reaching distance, he hit it and he wasn't at all nice about it. That just pissed Gintoki off because then he had to keep his wing pulled in against him and according to him it was 'too cramped.' Hijikata didn't have an ounce of sympathy since his own wings were uncomfortable to lay on, but he didn't have any other choice.

All they did everyday was fight and snap at each other or ignore one another completely if they could. Gintoki was round the clock obnoxious and that only got worse whenever Hijikata took time to try and work on his motor skills. He wanted to do that stuff in private, but Gintoki was _always around_. The guy wouldn't go away! He'd leave to go loiter in Sougo's room for awhile doing fuck knew what and Hijikata would try to do as much as he could, but all too soon, Gintoki would be back, usually after raiding the kitchens.

As for Hijikata's ability to move about... it wasn't getting any better. He was able to walk _maybe_ a step farther than the first day before he was sprawled out or desperately clutching something to keep him upright. Simply standing was difficult, even if all he was doing was holding still, it felt like there was a breeze pushing on him from all sides, but the push on his right side would be stronger than the one on his left or the push on his back would just slam into him and become stronger than all the others.

It was ridiculous! What kind of Vice-Commander couldn't fucking _walk_? It was embarrassing and humiliating and degrading, he was losing so much time that should be spent working because of his stupid wings. The only good thing he could say about them was that they were resilient, for all the times he'd fallen, he'd never hurt them. They could thump into things, the floor, door frames, other people, his desk, and be completely fine. A lot of times he had to use his sword as a prop to help him get around, but even that was slow going.

And one of the absolute worst parts, one of the many things that pissed Hijikata right off, was _showers_. Just the thought filled him with dread and that sucked because taking a nice hot shower at the end of the day – or whenever he had time – used to be taking a hot shower and rinsing off the grime of a hard day's work. But now that he spent his days trying to do every amount of paperwork he could, he didn't accumulate much grime and clothing... fucking _clothing_. Getting dressed and undressed was the most difficult thing with wings! Trying to angle them _just right_ to fit them through the slits in his yukata, it was so goddamn complicated! Especially for him since his wings didn't tend to always listen to him.

They had a certain time every other day when the bathroom was intentionally vacated and they both went to wash up, but they barely spoke and once they entered the actual bathroom, interaction ceased altogether. They didn't get there at the same time more often than not anyway since it took Hijikata longer to get there. Just to paint a picture at how hard it was to dress, even Gintoki and all his _gifted _wing control had trouble with it. Hijikata never watched because they were always in different corners of the bathroom, but he could hear Gintoki cuss and snarl.

The shower itself was still nice, Hijikata was sure he'd always enjoy the feeling of near scalding hot water, but it was definitely not what it used to be. His wings knocked things over, made it hard for him to fit when they randomly opened up and smacked into a wall. However, it did feel good to get them wet and they were always quick to dry afterward once he managed to shake them out. He always shed some feathers in the shower, too. He hadn't known he'd be shedding feathers every once in awhile, but it wasn't uncommon for him to wake up after a fitful night to find some in his bed. It was the same for Gintoki, too, and Hijikata always threw the things away to keep everything as clean as he could. Anyway, it was easier to dress with help, but he was too proud to ask and he sure as hell wasn't going to say anything to Gintoki about it. He managed fine on his own, it just took... time... and patience he didn't have.

On the topic of patience, Hijikata practically started everyday with: zero. It was so hot and humid out that he woke in a sweat and it only got worse from there. All the heat made him grouchy and irritable and his unwanted wings and unwanted 'guest' only exacerbated it. Had he mentioned yet how annoying Gintoki was? The asshole didn't shut up for a goddamn second! Just prattled on and on about the stupidest shit and he whined about every little thing, particularly the heat. Which brought Hijikata back to how often they fought and all the lame things they fought over, it was exhausting. As was Kondo stopping by each day to see him and inform him that they hadn't found anything out yet. There was always a promise of, 'soon, soon,' but each time, Kondo sounded less and less convincing. Hijikata had no idea what to make of that, so he granted Kondo more time, but he wasn't sure how much longer he'd be able to keep it up.

Now, onto the apple business – Hijikata was in his room, staring bleakly down at his next page to review and edit and he was reaching a standstill. Not because of the paperwork, he enjoyed Paperwork-san because it was all he could do while out of commission, but he was just getting burned out. A whole week of staying in his room, barely getting to go out except to smoke and swelter in the heat, struggling in the bathroom over clothes, and just the whole _wing thing_, he was reaching his wit's end. His brow was ticking as – _crunch _– he bit into his apple. The apple he'd had to venture out and get himself because he'd been hungry and mayo forbid Gintoki get it when he'd gone into the cafeteria to scrounge up a snack. Hijikata had been relatively nice in asking, too, but _no_, Gintoki had to be a bitch about it and snark at him with a, 'You want it? Get it yourself, bastard!'

It was a good apple though! Almost worth the fifteen minute trip of clutching walls and pausing when someone passed by so he wouldn't look totally uncool. He couldn't let his men see him so weak and unstable, that just wouldn't do. So, the voyage that used to only take him three minutes took him fifteen instead and wasn't that shitty? Gintoki was across the room and sitting on his futon, his expression less than friendly as he flipped through an older issue of Jump his kids had brought when they'd visited earlier in the day.

_Crunch. _

Hijikata was sure Gintoki hated being at the barracks and if he didn't in the beginning because he'd thought it'd only be a couple days, then he definitely did now. They'd gotten into a spat shortly after Hijikata's return from the kitchens, a quick back and forth of snarls and growls about how Gintoki never cleans up his futon or the area around it. It was always littered with trash, wrappers and the like from all the sweets and pudding cups he tended to eat. Hijikata didn't mind the futon staying out so much as he did Gintoki just constantly being around and in the way. The guy could be renamed Underfoot because that was where he was nine out of ten times, which was fastidiously annoying considering Hijikata's balance deficiency.

_Crunch_.

Gintoki probably also hated it because he wanted to be with his kids. Hijikata wasn't stupid, he'd noticed the subtle little looks Gintoki would give Four Eyes and China whenever they left, they were looks that said he so desperately wanted to go with them. So, really, he and the bastard were in much the same boat in not wanting to be trapped in Hijikata's room. He hadn't asked what Gintoki thought about having wings, he didn't care what Gintoki thought about anything – if he could even think at all, his intelligence was questionable at best. Hijikata couldn't actually imagine being cooped up in a room was all that different from Gintoki's daily life of lazing around and doing nothing conducive to anything. Then again, take away a person's ability to do something and that was what they wanted to do most, like when you get in a car knowing you wouldn't be able to piss for awhile, the second you get in, you suddenly had to take a leak.

_Crunch._

"I can't take it anymore!" Gintoki screamed, chucking his empty pudding cup across the room along with his Jump. "You've kept me trapped in here a whole week, that's it! I'm done, I've had it!"

Hijikata didn't so much as look up. "Shut up."

"No! I'm serious! I'm so fucking done with all of this!"

"You know we can't go out."

"I don't care! I can't stay in anymore, it's killing me! Look at my complexion, it's suffering!"

Hijikata's glanced up and rolled his eyes. "Sit down, you look psychotic."

"Oh, that's generous! After being stuck in here for a week with you, it's a miracle I'm not clinically insane by now!" Gintoki seethed, stopping his foot like a petulant child.

"Go for a walk to the cafeteria or something then, just quit bitching, I'm trying to work."

_Crunch._

Gintoki's screech was loud and thought shattering as he slammed his hands over his ears. "Enough with the apple! _Crunch, crunch, crunch_, that's all I hear! It's like the mark of impending doom, the fatal moment in the soap opera just before one of the characters meets his or her demise!"

And Gintoki just... started running around the room. He leaped on things, flapping his wings to gain leverage as he jumped up and pushed off a wall and the resultant wind sent Hijikata's papers scattering everywhere. Cursing, Hijikata dove for any he could reach and tried to gather them, pin them down, _something_ so that they wouldn't get caught up in the whirlwind that was a wild Gintoki dashing around his room. His half-eaten apple was tossed somewhere so he'd have both hands and that just pissed him off even more because he was reduced to trashing his own room because of this moron.

"I'm cramped, I'm bored, I'm sweaty, I'm hungry, I don't want to be here anymore!" Gintoki yelled as he circled the desk, spun in the air, ran into things.

"Goddamn it, bastard! You're destroying my room!"

"You're in it – room has already been destroyed!"

"Arghh, you idiot! Quit it already!"

"You cannot contain me!"

Hijikata yelled as his inkwell tipped over and sent the liquid all over his desk, staining the wood. He was so angry his wings were twitching and his teeth grit hard, he wished he had a cigarette between his lips to gnaw on. He couldn't get up and beat Gintoki to a pulp, he wouldn't be able to chase the fucker down! Gintoki was still doing parkour all over the place and being loud as fuck about it, whining about this and that. Hijikata was seconds away from slamming his face against the ink free section of his desk in frustration when Gintoki tripped and fell flat on his face in the middle of the room. Just – _caput! _And the bastard was down and motionless. His wings were unmoving as well, half-extended and raised enough to not touch the ground while Hijikata's own continued to twitch like they had tourettes.

"I hope you just killed yourself," Hijikata spat vehemently. "If you didn't, then seppuku!"

"I hate everything about this," Gintoki said into the floor in a flat voice. Then added with a lighter tone, "Except the free food, that's a plus."

Hijikata flipped the fucker off even though he couldn't see it and began gathering all the papers. He didn't look up as Gintoki shifted into a sitting position, he could see it from his peripherals and he knew that if he did look, he'd just get even more pissy. Wiping some sweat off his brow with the back of his hand, he bunched a stack up and set it to the side so he could turn his attention to the ink. He didn't have a towel or anything, just some napkins he'd grabbed with his apple, so he used those to soak up the majority of the mess. His desk was definitely stained and once he was able to get his hands on Gintoki, he was going to throttle the asshole.

Speaking of though, Gintoki had gone eerily quiet**, **_too_ quiet. Looking over, he did, in fact, get more pissy and Hijikata could only squint at the way Gintoki was staring off into space, hair all tousled and forehead glistening with his wings starting to slowly bunch up behind him. Something was up, he knew it, he could _feel _it.

"Is –"

Gintoki's face screwed up to the most unattractive and constipated looking thing just before he let out the mother of all sneezes. "_ACHOO!"_

Feathers. Everywhere.

On. Everything.

"What did you just _do?"_

"I don't know!" Gintoki cried as feathers rained down like falling snow.

Hijikata was afraid to breathe, there were white feathers floating in the air and when Hijikata waved a hand to get them away, that only brought a torrent of them back into his face. They weren't big feathers, they were the small downy ones, most of them tiny, no bigger than his pinky finger. But _how the hell were there so many?_

"Where did all these fucking things come from? And – oi! What the fuck are you doing?"

Gintoki was gathering them to him, snatching them out of the air and congregating a mass of them into a pile in his lap.

"Don't swat at them like that! Be gentle with the Gin-feathers!"

Gin-feathers.

"Did you seriously just call them th – _herk!_"

He'd swallowed one. A stupid little feather had just ninja-ed its way into his mouth and down his throat and now it was stuck there. It was the worst feeling! Worse than taking a pill and having that feeling like it hadn't been swallowed and was just coated to the esophagus. He grabbed his throat and wheezed, face puckering, and he had to wave his other hand to keep more feathers from fluttering into his face.

"W-w-wat-ter," Hijikata choked, coughing and wriggling his tongue to try and get the thing out. "Eiii – n-need w-w-water!"

"Get your own damn water, fuck head! Wait, what are you doing? Why do you look like that? You... did you...? You swallowed one! Gross, spit it out! Aw, c'mon, mayora! That's my goddamn feather, don't go eating it!"

Hijikata was going to kill him... once he got the feather from his throat. Livid, Hijikata flopped and crawled along the floor, leaving a trail in the fallen feathers, until his hand wrapped around his bottled water. He took a swallow, then another, but the feeling persisted, and even when he ran a finger in his mouth, it didn't help. Meanwhile, Gintoki was having a grand old time playing with his kingdom of feathers, making every manner of puttering sounds as he tossed some in the air so they'd rain down over his head.

There was a knock on the door just before it began to slide open and Yamazaki walked in. "Fukuchou? I heard noi..se..s... Fukuchou... why is your room a feather wonderland?"

Hijikata pointed a savage finger at Gintoki. "He sneezed!"

"They're really all his?"

"Do you see any black feathers in this mess?" Hijikata snapped, waving his arms around at all the white feathers. "I don't know how the hell there are so many, just to whatever you have to to get rid of them!"

Gintoki let out a scream and hoarded as many feathers as he could to himself. "How dare you! Let's get rid of you instead, bastard!"

"It's _my_ room!"

"So you keep reminding me! The place wouldn't be so bad if you weren't in it!"

Gintoki looked so dumb with feathers all over him, in his hair, on his shoulders, mounded in his lap over his crossed legs. His bottom lip was popped out in a pout and he was seriously protective of the stupid feathers, what the hell was this? Even his wings were gathering the feathers to Gintoki's sides, stirring the airborne ones up to keep them dancing. Hijikata hated so much about what was becoming of his life, he didn't even know how to properly convey his extreme displeasure short of spontaneously combusting.

"Zaki! I said get rid of them!"

"Ah... hai!" Yamazaki saluted and looked around, confused, before deciding, "I'll go get some bags and a broom and... lots of help."

Growling, Hijikata spitefully gathered a small pile of feathers and procured his lighter as he picked one up to burn it. He caught Gintoki's eye as he lit up and set fire to the thing, nearly torching the end of his finger because of how fast the feather burned. The smell was rancid and spread quickly around the room, but that didn't deter Hijikata's resolve in the least.

"Hate you," Gintoki simpered, safeguarding his hoard of feathers with hunched shoulders and similarly hunched wings.

Hijikata picked up another one to set fire to as they glared at each other. "Hate you more."

And the feather _burned._

**To Be Continued**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 3**

Gintoki and Hijikata sat next to each other, one with a black eye and a pout and the other with a swollen cheek and an intense frown. Kondo was sitting in front of them with his arms crossed and it was quiet in the room, not even a wing rustled. It was a stifling quiet, charged with an intensity that created electric sparks between the two men seated side by side. Hijikata, at least, was contrite on behalf of his Commander, Gintoki... not so much.

"So..." Kondo began, "what happened?"

"He took my feathers!" Gintoki yelled, jumping at the chance to punch Hijikata's shoulder. "He even burned some of them!"

Hijikata swatted right back. "He destroyed my room! Sent Paperwork-san everywhere!"

He motioned with his free hand to the mess around his room and Kondo took it in. But then Hijikata's attention was right back on Gintoki and they poked and prodded at each other. Fingers were shoved up his nose and his hand twisted in Gintoki's hair, trying to yank out all the natural perm he could.

"You were eating that goddamn apple so loud! Who eats an apple like that?"

"Everyone! It was an _apple! _How are you supposed to eat them?"

"Silently!"

"Enough!" Both men turned to look at Kondo whose eyes were narrowed at them, arms still crossed. "You two are going to stay in here until you can agree on something."

"I'm sure we can agree that we both don't want to do that," said Gintoki in a neutral tone, fingers still very much shoved up Hijikata's nose.

Hijikata made an agreeing sound. "It's bad enough having to stay in my room."

"Could you two... stop that?" Gintoki and Hijikata glanced at each other, Gintoki stuck out his tongue and Hijikata glared, but both of them took their tangled arms away from each other. "Right," Kondo went on, "you know what I mean when I say agree with each other! In order for you two to start getting along you need to find some common ground." He paused long enough for agitated static to charge between Gintoki and Hijikata before adding hastily, "Ground that isn't fighting!"

He stood up and Hijikata panicked. "Where are you going? You're not staying?"

"Otae-san was spotted coming this direction, by my calculations, it's need to find her o'clock. _But_, before I go, you two have some rules. One, no hitting. That means no punching, biting, kicking, no hurting each other of any kind. Second, no leaving the room until you've reached an agreement. And three, if you two get into another fight at any point, all the mayonnaise and sweets will be eradicated from this premise."

"You can't be serious!" Gintoki screeched, wings fluffing up.

Hijikata's wings jerked, shoving his body forward and back. "Kondo-san! I-I, but, Kondo-san, the _mayonnaise!_"

"I'm not finished!" Kondo said firmly, garnering their full attention. "You'll also be denied your access to Jump and cigarettes. Those are my terms and conditions! If you don't like it, then I hope you can do without your vices."

With that, he left them, just whisked through the door and closed it behind him with a dooming click. Silence reigned supreme in the stunned aftermath, but that was quickly broken by the sound of rustling feathers as Hijikata's wings took on a mind of their own and started to shake.

"My sweets," Gintoki whined.

"What will I ever do without mayo?"

"Without Jump, what am I?"

"I'll hate everything if I don't have cigarettes."

"You already hate everything."

"Not cigarettes and especially not mayo."

"Okay!" Gintoki yelled, Hijikata flinching as the bastard flapped his wings and threw a gust of air his way. Next thing he knew, Gintoki was facing him, brows drawn down in determination. "No way am I losin' my sweets and Jump for you, so, common ground, let's go!"

Hijikata tried to do what Gintoki did, the whole flapping of the wings and smoothly turning himself, but it didn't work out so well. He flopped sideways and jabbed a wing against the floor in an attempt to right himself, but that only made him half-roll in the wrong direction.

"It's okay, I'll wait," Gintoki voiced and Hijikata's face heated up, he could _hear _the smugness steeped in the bastard's tone.

"Shuddap," snarled Hijikata, crawling on his belly and kicking his legs until he was facing the right direction. Maneuvering himself, he lifted up on his arms and swung his legs beneath him and voila! He was seated facing Gintoki. Ignoring the flush in his cheeks, he lowered his head and glared at the stupid natural perm, pretending that the whole flailing thing hadn't just happened. "First of all, you're gonna fucking tell me when you're about to sneeze so I can throw your ass outside!"

"I didn't do it on purpose! I didn't even know that would happen!"

"T'ch! That's no excuse!"

"It's not an excuse, it's a point of fact! How could I have known I'd have a feathery explosion when I sneezed?"

"You just shoulda," Hijikata bites back tartly.

"Well, I didn't, but now I do. And while we're on it, I don't want you burnin' my feathers anymore!"

Hijikata's eyes narrowed, but he was quick to nod. "Fine."

"It smelled," Gintoki's nose scrunched up, "wrong. Your room reeks now."

There was no point countering that, Hijikata's room _did _smell bad, burning feathers had been a terrible idea. Whatever those feathers were made out of – besides idiocy since they were Gintoki's – made a really rank, odoriferous smell that clung to everything. Hijikata's hands still reeked of it and the lingering scent made his stomach hurt – ache, really. He didn't feel bad for doing it, of course he didn't, but he regretted the decisions if only for the resultant stench.

And Hijikata would never again not appreciate being able to sit properly. Sitting with wings was difficult and uncomfortable and it was near impossible to find a good spot. Even Gintoki was having a hard time with it despite all his _glorious_ wing control, t'ch, asshole. Hijikata could see it in the way Gintoki would shift every so often, moving to the left and then the right, wings compacting closer to his body or spreading out wider. The wings were just too long, they went too far down, they ran into the floor and Hijikata couldn't lift his the way Gintoki could, so he was doubly uncomfortable.

"Okay, no feather burning, that's decided. But you can't be running around my room like you were! I need those papers and now my desk is stained and some of those things were confidential!"

"I got cramped! It's been over a week of the same thing every day, I needed to move!"

"You do plenty of moving! Probably more than you do in your apartment even! You go and see Sougo and wander around the halls and I've lost count of how many times you've dropped everything and gone to the mess hall!"

Gintoki squinted at him. "Why were you counting to begin with?"

"No, I wasn't, don't change the subject!"

"Walking around in the tiny section of this place that I'm actually allowed in is _not _the same as going out for drinks or," he raised a sanctimonious hand, "the Pachinko Parlor! You have to know what it feels like! Don't you want to be out doing your patrols or whatever the hell it is you do?"

"Of course! But I'm not going to throw a tantrum and run around my room!"

"Can you even run?"

Hijikata wanted to hit him, so much so his hand was raised and ready to strike. It took all of his willpower to run numbers in his head and take a deep breath, calming himself enough to lower his hand into his lap. Gintoki's own arms were raised to potentially block whatever Hijikata threw at him, but his arms lowered as well, though slowly and with more caution.

"No, I don't think I can run," Hijikata seethed through gritted teeth and even that small admittance cost him and took a chunk out of his pride.

"Mm... then let's have a little compensation here."

"Like what?"

"Here, how 'bout I give you wing lessons and you let me stretch my wing out at night. I can't be cramped anymore, s'annoying."

"_Wing lessons_," Hijikata sputtered, shoulders drawing up and wings twitching. "You can't be fucking serious!"

"What's there to be not serious about? Don't you want to be able to get up and go wherever you want? I don't mind watching you struggle and flop around, but if it means I'll be able to stretch out at night, I can suffer through dealing with you."

"I d-don't kno-ow if..."

"If you don't want to that's fine, I don't care! It's just the first thing that came to mind!"

Hijikata's teeth were grinding down and it was fucking _annoying _that his wings weren't staying still like he wanted them to. They kept jerking and going up and down and even though they weren't spreading out all the way, the uncoordinated way they moved completely not in sync made him rock and have to brace a hand against the floor when he was thrown to one side. He couldn't keep going like this, with wings that didn't listen to him and he needed to walk! He was so sick of crawling around and using walls for support and making a fool of himself. Sougo was already relentless in making fun of him and wouldn't it be nice to surprise him by chasing after him when he least expected it?

Sighing, Hijikata righted himself and though he resented the very notion, he was going to have to suck it up. He could do this! He'd had to do all sorts of things for the Shinsengumi, even had to bark like a dog once, he could put up with Gintoki. It'd test his sanity and every level of patience he possessed, but he'd manage. For the sake of being able to potentially walk, he'd sacrifice his dwindling pride and endure.

Fingers curling into fists on his knees, he tried to get himself to relax and glared at Gintoki. "Just h-helping isn't enough, asshole. I need to see actual results before I'll let your fucking w-wing anywhere near me. Could smother me in my sleep or some shit."

Why the stutter? _Why_?

Gintoki's face dropped into a moue. "But what if you can't be helped, hah?"

"Then that's your problem, isn't it?"

"It'd be both our problem, jackass! Fuck!"

"Take it or leave it."

"I'll... ah, shit, I'll take it. Any chance is better than no chance at all," Gintoki grumbled and started to stand. "C'mon, lessons begin now, Gin-san's school of wing control is now in session."

"_Now_?"

"Did I stutter? I didn't stutter. Get up."

Face heating, Hijikata glared harder and scrambled to his feet. He had to lean forward and prop himself up on both arms, then shift his legs up beneath him before he could get up. It helped balance out his wings that way and if he didn't do it slow and careful, he'd fall. Trial and error, he'd been through this too many times in the last week. Once he was up, he squared his shoulders as best he could and faced Gintoki, brow set and determined.

Gintoki... only looked like he was about to laugh and it was a good thing he didn't because Hijikata's hands were in fists and rearing to go. And then came the awkward part where they just stared at each other, not knowing how to start or what to say. Feathers brushed together when Hijikata's wings pulled in tighter like a defensive stance, until his left one shot out for no explicable reason and Gintoki's mouth wobbled.

"Don't you dare laugh. At no point during this are you allowed to laugh."

Gintoki pursed his lips. "I can't hit you, I can't laugh, have I mentioned how much I don't like being here?"

"Yes, you have, and I still don't care. Now, commence! Do something!"

"Bossy, bossy," was mumbled back as Gintoki started moving closer. He was moving slow and tentative, like he was expecting one of Hijikata's fists to come flying out at him at any second. Good, he wanted to keep the bastard on his toes. "Do you have _any_ control over these things?" Gintoki asked, touching the right one and Hijikata immediately pulled it away.

"A little."

"How much is a little?"

"How the fuck should I know? Is there a wing control gauge I don't know about? A little means a little, that's it, dumbass."

Gintoki held up both hands with his palms out. "Alright, alright, yeesh. I've never worked with wings before either, you know. Cut me some slack."

"No, why should I?"

"'Cause this is new to me too, now hold your goddamn wing still!"

"Only if you promise not to yank any feathers out!"

"What the hell could I possibly want with any of your stupid feathers?"

Hijikata threw his arms up. "I don't know! You do dumb, random shit all the time, you'd probably yank on my feathers just for kicks! Fuckin' sadist!"

"Okay... well, I won't," Gintoki said, his voice suddenly normal pitched and even.

"You won't," Hijikata echoed, eyes narrowing suspiciously.

Gintoki shook his head. "No. No, no. You haven't tried? It fucking hurts!"

"Why would you pull out your own feathers?"

"I didn't mean to, okay?" Gintoki snapped defensively. "I was just brushing out the loose ones, you know? And then, I don't know, one I thought was loose wasn't loose and I tugged on it and –"

"Wait, wait, wait, hold up! Is this why you screamed the other day?" Gintoki's bottom lip popped out and even though he didn't nod, the answer was written all over his face. "Idiot! The entire yard thought someone had died and the place was haunted!"

"This place _is _haunted! Have you not heard those weird noises at night?"

Hijikata scowled. "What weird noises? Are you sure they're not just voices you're hearing in your head?"

"Of course I'm sure, asshole! You know those whooshing and rattling noises..." Hijikata tilted his head dubiously. "I am _not _crazy!"

"It just sounds like you're talking about the wind."

Gintoki crossed his arms and his wings ruffled up. "I know what the stupid wind sounds like and it doesn't make noises like that."

"Right... okay. Can we just, ahh, get back on track here?" Gintoki, the dumbass, blinked stupidly until Hijikata pointed back at his wings. "The walking thing, genius."

"Oh." A blank look. "Yeah. Here, take a step toward me. Go ahead, I'll catch you if you fall, Oogushi-kun!"

"That is not my name and don't touch me," Hijikata stated, glad that a stutter didn't work its way into his speech. "Tell me what you do with your wings when you walk and stuff."

"Ah, you just... you move."

Hijikata's face flattened. "That's it? Really?"

"It's hard to explain to someone else what I do with my wings! You shift them? They're an added weight, so like, ah! Like sword fighting! When you hold a sword you have to compensate its weight, adjust to it to minimize error. Except there's two and they're coming out of your back."

"You are one of, if not the most, unhelpful creature to ever exist."

"At least I'm _trying_," Gintoki spat back and Hijikata recoiled, the bastard had a point.

"Okay." Hijikata ran a hand through his hair and scratched his scalp. "Okay, so try to keep them close to my body or...?"

Gintoki thought about it, then nodded, becoming almost congenial. "Close to your body, yeah, but you've gotta do that compensating thing. You turn left, your right wing has to go out some to keep your balance. Make sense?" Hijikata hummed and took a step forward, immediately wobbling the second his foot left the floor. "Move your right one in closer. No, other way, like – no. Can I touch to show you?"

"Hn, I suppose."

Gintoki got closer and reached out, but Hijikata's wing struck, smacking him in the face. "Ouch-ch-ch! You did that on purpose!"

"Might've. Hard to tell, isn't it?"

"Does that count as hitting me?"

"No."

"Because?"

"It just doesn't."

"That's not even a reason! Then I should be able to smack you with my wings, but it's okay _because_."

"Shu –"

"Shuddap, yeah, yeah," Gintoki interrupted and stepped closer, touching Hijikata's wing and moving it just so. "Something more like this. And when you turn it's more," he moved the wing out a couple inches, "like this. The wings aren't heavy, but they _are _a weight."

"But mine aren't a constant weight!" Hijikata blurted.

"They're not?"

"N-no," Hijikata muttered, staring because Gintoki was staring right back at him with a raised brow, hand still on his wing. It felt _weird_ to have someone else touching the feathers, he'd thought so when Sougo and Kondo had taken their turns and he definitely thought the same now. "The weight changes all the damn time. I'm not stupid! I'm sure I could figure it out otherwise."

"Huh. Mine don't do that. I don't..." he trailed off and blinked, then his brows drew down. "Somehow I'm going to make this work! I need to stretch out at night, so prepare yourself, asshole, we're gonna get you walkin'!"

Hijikata couldn't speak right away, but he didn't need to because Gintoki was already moving, turning around to show off his wings. He shifted them up and down and opened them, telling Hijikata as best he could what it felt like and how he did it. They didn't get along part of the time and Hijikata had had to punch the wall once because of a snarky comment Gintoki had made, but for actual hitting, there had been none. They worked for the better part of forty-five minutes before tension got too high and they had to stop and while Hijikata was no better at walking, he felt slightly better about it. He was seated by his desk, burnt out after falling for who knew how many times onto his ass.

"Tell me we can leave this room now," Gintoki whined, thumping his forehead into the wall. He'd been doing that for the past minute or so, his wings braced against the wall above his head. "I've been good, for the sake of sweets and Jump I've been good and want to leave."

"I think so. Go do something, I need time away from you and – fuck!"

Gintoki spun around. "Shit, what?"

"F-fuck, fuck! I think – sneeze! I think I'm gonna!"

In a flurry of feathers, Gintoki hit the deck and put his hands over his head to protect himself, his wings rising and curving like a blockade. Hijikata's nose itched and tickled, his face started to pinch, he could feel it coming in the tingle at the top of his nose. When it hit, there were no feathers, not a one. Hijikata sneezed and his wings spasmodically twitched so violently that it sent him face first into his desk with a loud _smack_. And somewhere around the ringing in his ears, he could hear Gintoki cracking up, his laughter loud and unrestrained.

"Not funny," Hijikata snapped, holding his face because _goddamn fucking ouch_, that hurt like a son of a bitch.

Gintoki couldn't even reply he was laughing so hard, a mere ball on the ground clutching his stomach. Once again, Hijikata's wings proved to be his downfall, they were such a nuisance. How did that even work? Where Gintoki got an ungodly amount of feathers, Hijikata received... face plants? Everything about that was wrong, if anything, Gintoki should be the one having his face smashed into things.

"Hate you," Hijikata yelled, face inflamed as he crawled his way toward the door. "I don't care what you do or where you go just stay the h-hell away from me, goddamn it!"

All he got in answer was laughter and Hijikata was so done. At the door, he stood up and left, using the walls to brace himself and keep him upright.

-o-O-o-

Two hours later and Hijikata's pride was still torn to shreds and barely on the mend. But he needed to get back because there was still work to do in there and it was starting to get late in the afternoon. He'd holed himself up in a conference room and worked from there for awhile and it was nice in the quiet, left to be with his own thoughts. He could only imagine the ridicule he'd receive and unfortunately, that was all that was on his mind as he followed along the wall, pausing whenever he heard voice. He didn't pass anyone, good thing, too, but feeling so pathetic as opposed to his usual Vice-Commander status, it was dragging him down little by little.

Hijikata got back to his room and stopped short just past the threshold, pulled forcefully from his depressing thoughts. The door was already open and there were two lumps in front of Gintoki's futon and a whole big pile of pillows he'd never seen before. And there were two too many bodies. Oh, no, this wasn't good.

"Why the hell does it look like a campground in here?"

"Kids are staying the night," Gintoki replied, his two minions on either side of where he was laying on his belly.

"Uh... no. No, they are not."

"Yes, they are. We don't have a roommate agreement."

"Of course we don't! This isn't the Big Bang Theory and you're not my roommate! You're just an ingrate staying in _my _room because there's nowhere else for you to go! That, and no one else wants you!"

"Mayora demon!" China yelled, slamming her body into Hijikata's and sending him sprawling onto the floor. "Don't talk to Gin-chan like that!"

Hijikata's wings flailed as he tried to sit upright, the added limbs knocking against the floor with hollow thuds. China cackled and dove into her lump for a bed, of the three, only Four Eyes looked slightly sympathetic, but his form of sympathy was only a glance in Hijikata's direction. China had already settled back down next to Gintoki... which meant she'd be between him and Hijikata... no, this wasn't going to fly – no pun intended.

"This i-isn't – _no!_ They can't stay in here, you d-didn't even ask!"

"You weren't here, so I made the decision myself."

"A-and I'm saying no!"

"It's just one night, you'll live."

Hijikata was seeing red. "Get your fucking kids out of my goddamn room, asshole!"

"What did you just say?" Gintoki asked and his wings, whether he knew it or not, were slowly raising and curling around the kids.

Hijikata pulled his knees to his chest and shoved his face in them, so furious he couldn't think straight. Would it have been so hard to ask? Then maybe they could have worked something out, but, of course, Gintoki was doing whatever the fuck he wanted. They were already there, in their pajamas even, so Hijikata couldn't really throw them out. Well, he _could_, but Kondo would probably disapprove and Hijikata was sure his mayonnaise and cigarettes were still on the line. So, he had no other choice but to relent. Not that any of them apparently needed to be given his okay because they were already talking and goofing off.

Pissed and dejected, Hijikata crawled over to his bed, face heating up when China started giggling ominously. He'd have to do something seriously manly to reinstate some of his pride because chunk after chunk had just been skewered out of it ever since these stupid wings had appeared. He didn't feel like changing, wanted to avoid that embarrassment, so he went over and flopped onto his futon.

Which brought him up short – he always put his futon away.

Lifting his head, his eyes met Gintoki's because the bastard was already looking over. Bringing out his futon was terrible compensation for not asking to have company over, but... they could talk about that later. Face scrunching, Hijikata flipped him off and shoved his face into his pillow, that being the best 'alright, fine, I'll put up with this' he could think of.

"You haven't been sleeping well," Four Eyes was commenting.

Gintoki snorted. "You can only relax so much when your wings are cramped, you're stuck in a hive of popo, and you've got the queen bee in the room next to you."

"Whine, whine, whine," Hijikata snapped without raising his head, "I have to put up with plenty of your shit, too. Do they _know_ what happens when you sneeze?"

"I told them." Gintoki sniffed indignantly and Hijikata peeked an eye out to see his bottom lip pop out. "It's not _that _bad."

"Yes. Yes, it is."

"It can't be!" Kagura cried, stuffing her face in the area between Gintoki's wings. "Gin-chan has good feathers! The best!"

Gintoki stiffened and swatted at him, wings bending to smoosh her down and smother her. She flailed and worked herself away, rolling back over onto her little bedding. She was way too close to him, but there wasn't enough room for him to scoot over, basically, he was stuck. Just like he was stuck with unwanted company times three. In his agitation, his wings took on a mind of their own and jerked outward, one hitting the wall, the other a small body.

"Ack! Gin-chan! His wing hit me!"

"So hit him back."

And she did.

And Hijikata knew then that he wasn't going to get much of any sleep.

**To Be Continued**


End file.
